Break free from toxic family.
Claim joy, power and peace.
Congratulations. I know that if you are here, you are either considering go no contact or are already on this path. I know that this is likely the hardest decision you have ever had to make.
Eight years ago I began my no contact journey. It was messy and the most empowering choice I have ever made. I am here to support you as someone further along on the path, but we are probably alike in many ways. I am a creative, sensitive truth teller that is committed to relationships filled with transparency and mutual respect. I have grieved the loss of my family and rebuilt a life based on my values with wonderful people at the center of it. Now I provide stigma free support to help you grieve, find chosen family, and move forward with dignity. Welcome to the no contact community!
I know it is odd to be congratulated on going no contact with a family member, because estrangement is taboo in our society. We hear “blood is thicker than water,” and we confront feelings of panic, guilt and self-doubt when we leave the relationship. Some family connections are impossible to sustain due to the presence of abuse and a lack of accountability. To stay would be to remain unsafe mentally, emotionally or physically. You deserve to be healthy and happy. People don’t throw parties for the cycle breakers but I’m here to celebrate your hard won freedom. Cheers to your liberation!
No Contact is a choice to live life on your own terms.
You’re worth it.
CROSS WITH CARE
CROSS WITH CARE
How to thrive while no contact:
Maintaining healthy boundaries
Reclaiming play and rest
Building chosen family
Establishing your own traditions
B is for Boundaries
No Contact is the foundation of safety. The purpose of no contact is to protect and nurture yourself. This boundary shields you from mistreatment and is a form of self-respect. After you go no contact, it is important to set boundaries with other family members in order to prevent triangulation. Some relatives may mischaracterize you as selfish or try to get you to “forgive and forget.” You may need to limit the frequency or type of interactions you have with them. You can choose boundaries that honor your personal needs and unique considerations, and they can be temporary or permanent.
Create a second childhood *
Create a second childhood *
Reclaim Play and Rest
You used to love expressing yourself creatively, but at some point you stopped. Your stress about your family situation carried over into your lack of motivation. There are many childhood pleasures you let go of and some unhealthy ones you picked up in their place. Taking care of others became the priority and gradually were drained. You are more artistic than you give yourself credit for and you miss having a creative outlet. Now that you have more space and time, you’re feeling the pull to return to your passions.
Build a Chosen Family
Going no contact means missing out on family gatherings and experiencing distance from other relatives who don’t understand. But you are not alone and you can build stronger connections with those who have your back. Seeking out reciprocal relationships with others on a personal growth journey can help you feel nourished and cherished. You can share your heart and life with those who make efforts to see, hear and know your truth. Even when you feel lonely, you always belong to yourself and to the larger human family.
Create your own traditions
Winter can be a bummer, amirite? It the time of year when it is painfully obvious that you aren’t a part of the family fold. Coping in any weird and wonderful ways you can during the holidays is important, whether it is watching “Home Alone” on Christmas or volunteering at a soup kitchen to get out of your home and head. You might plan a gathering of friends, a ceremony to honor your grief, or some pleasurable distractions. No need for celebration. Whatever you need to do to get through, I got you, with no judgment.
Group Care & Support
For those who are low contact, no contact or “no contact curious,” I lead virtual support groups over the holidays. We will gather on “Mother’s Day,” “Father’s Day”, and around Thanksgiving and the winter holidays. These groups include IFS guided meditations, support and sharing, and boundaries coaching. Please see the bottom of the page for current group information. Please visit my 1:1 coaching page if you are seeking mentorship, and my rates page to learn more.